My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
