don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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