did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
whose parrot is this?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
