My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
