how can u be prego again
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
