My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
