i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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