She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
