Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
