you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
