How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
