Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
