End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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