I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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