Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
