I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
