I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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