he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
