Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
