He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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