I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
