i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
