This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
