i need an iv and a liver transplant
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
