Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
These tits shall not be calmed
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
