i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
