I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize