You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
