are you so shy because you have an std?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
