maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
