how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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