If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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