Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
