I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
