For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize