Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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