Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He passed out mid-signature
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
