so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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