soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
