is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
