saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
