We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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