My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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