it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
