So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
