alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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