he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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