I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
