that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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