I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
