Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
