I think my fart just growled at me.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
