3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
