Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
