i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
