i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
