so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
