This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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