He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
