Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
