cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
