hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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