I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
